Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The Blessing of Rejection

"It is also key to listen and watch for the message the rejection has hidden in its folds. At 40 I now believe rejection is God's way of kicking you to higher ground. That said, I would add that although this has always held a gift for me, I still sometimes grow tired of God's boot print on my behind." 

   -By Suzanne Finnamore, "Why Avoiding Rejection Is a Major Mistake" from 
the May 2001 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine

I was reading this article last night because I know people who are sometimes stymied by the fear of rejection.  Just the fear is so bad that they don't even want to try for whatever it is they need or want.  I certainly used to be that way.  I remember being so afraid of rejection that I was debilitatingly shyIf I had a crush on someone, I would wish on dandelions for him to notice me, talk to me, like me.  If the wish came true, I was afraid he wouldn't like the real me, so I wouldn't let him get to know me. 

I'm not afraid of rejection anymore.  I'd still prefer for people to like me, for potential employers to want me, for publishers to like my writing, but if they don't, I'm okay with that.  I think having a husband and children whom I know love me and want me despite all my deficiencies, which they know better than anyone, makes it easier to move past the rejections of other people.

And like Suzanne Finnamore, I can see the blessing in some rejections.  Both DH and I have applied for jobs in the past that we thought we needed, but they were extremely far from family, or they meant having to give up too much time with family, or putting a toddler in daycare.  While being rejected from such jobs still held a sting, I also found it to be a blessed relief.  Maybe things would be a little tougher for awhile, but we'd still have the most important thing -- family --, and we could wait for a better opportunity.

Yes, rejection hurts, but sometimes we need it, and we must always pick ourselves up from it and seek out the next (better?) opportunity.

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