I've been feeling pretty stressed lately... worrying about everything from money to children's behavior and other stuff. There have been so many moments lately when I just can't help letting a few tears fall. I keep hearing from people that a mother is the backbone of her family. That she needs to be strong to get everyone else through the tough times. But sometimes I just feel so weak. Nevertheless, I force myself to smile at my daughters, at my husband. I concentrate on listening to them, complaints and the occasional joy. I know it helps the girls, and that if I want to give them a foundation on which to build future happiness, I must continue to engage even when I'm feeling sad and overwhelmed. Lucky for me, if I focus had enough, it sometimes reflects back to me and picks me up a bit.
The girls really like to laugh and smile. Yesterday we experienced a smile that made even Daddy smile back and almost laugh. Sarah grabbed his leg when he came home from work, and while giving him a big hug, she looked up and smiled. It was contagious and in no time we were all smiling for a little while. This kid really has a way of doing that. Just a bit ago, she made me smile again in a different way. We were reading Goodnight Moon before nap time. I read the first page ending with "...a picture of..." and Sarah finished it with "cow jumping on bed." She's obsessed with Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed. It made perfect sense that if a cow was going to be jumping, he would be on a bed. Really, who jumps over the moon?
Amidst all the worries I'm so thankful to have my family. I do my best to support them all despite my weaknesses, but they surprise me and support me, too. I can think back on so many occasions, even very recent ones, where each of them has done something to help me keep going.